Follow these things as these might create some difference-
1. Blaming.
People make mistakes.
Employees don't meet your expectations. Vendors don't deliver on time.
So you blame them for your
problems.
But you're also to blame.
Maybe you didn't provide enough training. Maybe you didn't build in enough of a
buffer. Maybe you asked too much, too soon.
Taking responsibility when
things go wrong instead of blaming others isn't masochistic, it's
empowering--because then you focus on doing things better or smarter next time.
2. Impressing.
No one likes you for your
clothes, your car, your possessions, your title, or your accomplishments. Those
are all "things." People may like your things--but that doesn't mean
they like you.
Sure, superficially they
might seem to, but superficial is also insubstantial, and a relationship that
is not based on substance is not a real relationship.
Genuine relationships make
you happier, and you'll only form genuine relationships when you stop trying to
impress and start trying to just be yourself.
3. Clinging.
When you're afraid or
insecure, you hold on tightly to what you know, even if what you know isn't
particularly good for you.
An absence of fear or
insecurity isn't happiness: It's just an absence of fear or insecurity.
Holding on to what you
think you need won't make you happier; letting go so you can reach for and try to
earn what you want will.
Even if you don't succeed
in earning what you want, the act of trying alone will make you feel better
about yourself.
4. Interrupting.
Interrupting isn't just rude.
When you interrupt someone, what you're really saying is, "I'm not
listening to you so I can understand what you're saying; I'm listening to you
so I can decide what I want to say."
Want people to like you?
Listen to what they say. Focus on what they say. Ask questions to make sure you
understand what they say.
They'll love you for
it--and you'll love how that makes you feel.
5. Whining.
Your words have power,
especially over you. Whining about your problems makes you feel worse, not
better.
If something is wrong,
don't waste time complaining. Put that effort into making the situation better.
Unless you want to whine about it forever, eventually you'll have to do that.
So why waste time? Fix it now.
Don't talk about what's
wrong. Talk about how you'll make things better, even if that conversation is
only with yourself.
And do the same with your
friends or colleagues. Don't just be the shoulder they cry on.
Friends don't let friends
whine--friends help friends make their lives better.
6. Controlling.
Yeah, you're the boss.
Yeah, you're the titan of industry. Yeah, you're the small tail that wags a
huge dog.
Still, the only thing you
really control is you. If you find yourself trying hard to control other
people, you've decided that you, your goals, your dreams, or even just your
opinions are more important than theirs.
Plus, control is short term
at best, because it often requires force, or fear, or authority, or some form
of pressure--none of those let you feel good about yourself.
Find people who want to go
where you're going. They'll work harder, have more fun, and create better
business and personal relationships.
And all of you will be
happier.
7. Criticizing.
Yeah, you're more educated.
Yeah, you're more experienced. Yeah, you've been around more blocks and climbed
more mountains and slayed more dragons.
That doesn't make you
smarter, or better, or more insightful.
That just makes you you: unique,
matchless, one of a kind, but in the end, just you.
Just like everyone
else--including your employees.
Everyone is different: not
better, not worse, just different. Appreciate the differences instead of the
shortcomings and you'll see people--and yourself--in a better light.
8. Preaching.
Criticizing has a brother.
His name is Preaching. They share the same father: Judging.
The higher you rise and the
more you accomplish, the more likely you are to think you know everything--and
to tell people everything you think you know.
When you speak with more
finality than foundation, people may hear you but they don't listen. Few things
are sadder and leave you feeling less happy.
9. Dwelling.
The past is valuable. Learn
from your mistakes. Learn from the mistakes of others.
Then let it go.
Easier said than done? It
depends on your focus. When something bad happens to you, see that as a chance
to learn something you didn't know. When another person makes a mistake, see
that as an opportunity to be kind, forgiving, and understanding.
The past is just training;
it doesn't define you. Think about what went wrong, but only in terms of how
you will make sure that, next time, you and the people around you will know how
to make sure it goes right.
10. Fearing.
We're all afraid: of what
might or might not happen, of what we can't change, or what we won't be able to
do, or how other people might perceive us.
So it's easier to hesitate,
to wait for the right moment, to decide we need to think a little longer or do
some more research or explore a few more alternatives.
Meanwhile days, weeks,
months, and even years pass us by.
And so do our dreams.
Don't let your fears hold
you back. Whatever you've been planning, whatever you've imagined, whatever
you've dreamed of, get started on it today.
If you want to start a
business, take the first step. If you want to change careers, take the first
step. If you want to expand or enter a new market or offer new products or
services, take the first step.
Put your fears aside and
get started. Do something. Do anything.
Otherwise, today is gone.
Once tomorrow comes, today is lost forever.
Today is the most precious
asset you own--and is the one thing you should truly fear wasting.
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